En Garde

One of the things I've been wary about are the words I say when I'm pissed. And sad to say, I have my fair share of hurtful words utttered in moments of blur and haziness.

Words have their way of hurting more than physical abuse can. Their effect resound even after bruises have already healed.

And these verses say it all.

He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. -Ecclesiastes 5:2

For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. - Matthew 12:34b

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23

How easy it is to say that you'll always be on guard for these things.

And yet when our guard is down and we say hurtful words, things happen and sometimes it's too late to go back.

Like a Drawbridge

A friend told me yesterday trust is freely given. I agree, you cannot just force it on people.

But can you earn it? What are the different trust levels? How different is it between friends? Between couples? Between family members? Or should there be a difference?

Trust involves the laying down of a drawbridge into your mind. You’ll be allowing another to see your innermost thoughts. Most of us have only a handful of people that we can trust.

And yet how do you get to that point to that level of trust and then lose it in a jiffy?

Like a drawbridge, it is movable I guess.

The Kite Runner

"For you, a thousand times over."

Whether for emphasis or sheer forgetfulness or maybe stubbornness, I tend to repeat things I’ve said and done.

But what if you can help it? Would you still do it a thousand times over?

My brother asked me what that line from Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner meant? He read the book and watched the movie. I haven’t done either until that time.

I got a copy of the movie from Helen before she left for school in the Lion City. But I didn’t get to see the movie until this year. I should’ve watched it way before.

I gave my brother a piece of my mind on what that line meant to me.

Amir and Hassan are best of friends who love to have “kite fights”. In one scene, Amir tells Hassan to go run the kite, to which Hassan shouts back "For you, a thousand times over".

The line speaks volumes of the relationship between these two friends.

And for me, it has taken a new meaning. Kudos to all the kite runners of this world who can say.....

"For you, a thousand times over." And expect nothing in return.

Casting Crowns

It is so easy to give in to nonchalance with equal indifference. And just as I was about to give in to apathy and wander in the valley of bitterness, Itunes randomly picked these lyrics (from Casting Crowns' Who Am I?) to spew out in perfect timing as if talking to me.

Who am I?

That the bright and morning star,

Would choose to light the way,

For my ever wondering heart.

Not because of who I am.

But because of what you've done.

Not because of what I've done.

But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow.

A wave tossed in the ocean,

A vapor in the wind.

Still you hear me when I'm calling,

Lord you catch me when I'm falling,

And you told me who I am.

I am yours.

Who am I?

That the voice that calm the sea,

Would call out through the rain,

And calm the storm in me.

A song that reminds me who I am and reminds me that whatever storm is within me, can be the same (or less intense) turbulence troubling other people around me too. But each person has a different way of processing his or her own struggles. And in moments where I sometimes rely on myself or others, God picks me up and makes realize my true value.

Anonymous

After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open.
With the grace of maturity, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And that you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn and learn....
With every goodbye you learn.

Of Running and Eating

Adidas King of the Road's tagline this year is "Because every runner is different". So true not only in the race, but in life as well. And yet despite these differences, a motley of personalities manage to get along. It just takes some effort and patience though. And everything in life, not just running, needs that extra effort and patience. (Serious mode stops here.)

Anyway, this year's KOTR wasn't as well-organized as the others, but it offered a lot of interesting sidelights. Not to mention that the singlet is screaming "Look how yellow I am". Some runners had funny lines written on their backs. Some had pretty serious "bumper lines". Everybody seemed to be on high spirits today. I even heard one runner looking for his Yaya to ask for the time. That put a smile in my face which stayed 'til the finish line.

Running today was a wonderful opportunity to bond with running buddies Shing, Sarah and Jufel.

back of famished runners

Running made us all famished. So it was quite a treat when Jufel and I chanced upon a new food choice in Food Choices. Go Greek! just opened last week in Glorietta. And I think today is a a beginning of a beautiful friendship between Go Greek! and I. Here's a sampler of what they have to offer at very reasonable prices.

Gyros Platter at P155

Kebab (what's left of it anyway) at P95

I'm now looking forward to the next fun run and my next Go Greek! visit. And both are definitely going to happen very soon.

How to Save a Life (by The Fray)

Step one you say we need to talk

He walks you say sit down it's just a talk

He smiles politely back at you

You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right

As he goes left and you stay right

Between the lines of fear and blame

And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And would I have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best

Cause after all you do know best

Try to slip past his defense

Without granting innocence

Lay down a list of what is wrong

The things you've told him all along

And I pray to God he hears you

Hang in There

I know I had my own share of dealing with changes of late. I'm just thankful that in time, things have become clearer and made more sense.

Now, seeing major changes happen to people who matter a great deal to me and knowing I can't do anything but watch and listen helplessly is disturbing. I know the type of change I've dealt are small-time compared to theirs. So I can't imagine how heart- breaking this may be for them.

But I guess there are some things that are beyond our reach. Even if we stretch our limitations just to grab 'em. Some things just slip through our fingers and it's not because our fingers are slippery. No amount of anti-slip support can make this one stick.

So hang in there, you can weather these aches because I know you as a friend whose quiet strength far outweighs mine.


Note: Published with permission from the recipient.

2.0

It has been two years since that fateful day in Glorietta when I fortunately got the "g2 pala" SMS belatedly.

For some strange reason, I was unusually calm immediately after the incident. The emotions just flowed a few days after. Sobrang delayed reaction.

But it took a while before I got the courage to go back to the mall.

After some time, I summoned enough guts to step into Glorietta again.

Now, I can casually walk into the mall like nothing ever really happened.

In time, all becomes a part of the past and yet still so much a part of us.

Whenever, I see the covered-up part of the mall, I remember to be thankful to Him who kept us out of harm's way that day.

On October 19, 2009, as I walked the corridor of GB5 and saw the watch store covered by a cloth, I was praying that let this be just an ordinary day at the mall.

Come to think of it, it's probably the safest place to be today.

  the commotion after

A Reposting

At noon today, October 18, 2009, several armed men attempted to rob a shop in Greenbelt 5. Several shots were fired. One robber was killed and one person was reportedly hurt. I can just imagine the ensuing panic after. This reminded me of an incident in the same area. Here's a reposting of my entry on the Glorietta Blast which happened two years ago.

http://mysmallflatworld.blogspot.com/2008/07/my-glorietta-2-experience.html

Our Folks

When I was younger, I thought my parents were invincible and will live forever. When I was 8 or 9, my Mom told me she will not stay young and she’ll eventually die. And my young mind couldn’t comprehend that at that time, I remembered crying really hard upon hearing that. I guess any eight-year old won't be able to grasp the issue of mortality. Maybe I was thinking then, who’s gonna feed me? I only felt better when my mom told me, it’s not anytime soon and still far into the future.

orchid in my mom's garden

Recently, something hit me, our parents aren’t getting any younger. My mom just had her annual check-up and the doctor prescribed all sorts of maintenance meds. On the average, my generation’s parents have lived three scores. They’ve had their share of life’s rich experiences and have battle scars to prove it. At this time, I’m wondering what’s running through their minds when they look at our generation.

Just a random thought…..

Ang Nakaraan

"The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it." -Wendell Berry

drama shot

Thanks for all those who have added something better to it, knowingly or unknowingly.

Mga Kuwento

I love listening to stories of distant lands, places I haven't been to. Like a child eager for new adventures beyond the fence of her own backyard. Stories I hear transport me to places I may not have the opportunity to go to. And yet hearing stories of adventure from people take me to these places. Like a magic carpet, each story takes my imagination to the places others have seen and experienced.

But sometimes as I crane my neck too much to see beyond my fence, I neglect to see what's just in front of me, missing out on adventures within my reach. Trapped in the confines of my closed mind, I fail to uncover hidden adventures in my own backyard.

I realized I don't really need to look too far for me to experience new bonds and kinship. Wherever I may be, adventure and fun will be there, I just need an open mind to see and appreciate it.

And to those who have shared stories, be it fact or fiction, I am forever grateful for the door you have opened to a world beyond my own.

Safe journeys everyone.

Lighthouse Effect

There's something romantic about lighthouses. It's not just the way they light a ship's way in a moonless night.

They have a magic feel to them that I can't describe. Staring at 'em set against a backdrop of a remote cape somewhere far away, is simply enchanting. And romantic I must say.

The Philippines, being an archipelago, has a lot of lighthouses and I'm blessed to see some of them and capture their gallant stand against the ravages of nature. Some withstood the test of time and have weathered many storms.

Naidi Hills, Basco

Naidi Hills, Basco

Sabtang Island

Sabtang Island

Patar, Bolinao

Capones Island, Zambales

Corregidor Island

But my first lighthouse experience is not captured in an image but it's something very close to my heart. It is in my hometown, Ajuy. The lighthouse is in an uninhabited island (Parola) in between Panay and Negros island.

We too, as sailing ships in this vast ocean of life, have our own lighthouses that guide our way.

What's your lighthouse?

Blind Curves

I usually walk from the office to my place three blocks away. Along the way, there are two blind curves. One in Leviste and another one in Tordesillas. Before crossing both streets, I take extra caution and make sure that there are no oncoming vehicles.

Blind curves....life is full of 'em. You'll never know what will hit you next and yet the whole point is to walk mindful of these curves and yet not totally distracted by 'em.

We just have to walk, keeping in mind where the blind curves are but not letting 'em direct our path.

Many times we may be delayed in our journey by the oncoming from the numerous blind curves along the way. But this shouldn't get the joy out of walking. If there are no blind curves at all, life won't be that exciting anyway. It will just be a journey with no suprises along the way. Now that will just be no fun at all.

PAG-ASA

Marikina is said to be the cleanest city in the country but a few hours of raining made it like this.

no, this isn't a dump site, this is an ordinary street in Marikina 

What I saw in Marikina yesterday was heartbreaking but at the same time seeing how our kababayans can help each other and still smile amidst everything reaffirmed my faith in the Filipino spirit.

man trying to clean the mud off passers by who just came from Provident Villages

A few days after the storm, I heard a lot of stories of survival. Some from people I know, some from total strangers.

All sharing a common bond,the indomitable human spirit survives the strongest storms. And if they don't, their passing leaves an inspiration to emulate  like that  teenager  saving several people including a  baby, before drowning.

This storm left a lot of lessons in its wake,lessons of survival and sacrifice.

But if there's anything that Ondoy taught me, it's a message of hope, the Filipinos' bayanihan spirit is still alive. I just hope it doesn't take another storm to jumpstart it again.